Opening Address: What makes a Great Class; Relational Leadership; Acts of Kindness and Optimism

We are now into week 5 and there is a great vibe around the campus. People made it through week 1 – with all the anxiety of new students trying to find their places (both physically and socially), and returning students re-establishing relationships. Week 2 started the “normalizing” process as students and staff got into the rhythm of the typical school week. Week 3 started with an energetic Spirit Day and ended in a fabulous Homecoming weekend. Post-Thanksgiving, it seems that most are in their grooves.

I thought it would be appropriate to post some of the thoughts I shared with students at the all-school Assembly, which started the school year. I was impressed that the students gave me their full attention throughout this long address.

“This morning, I have 3 distinct messages for you – one to new students, one to the Senior 2s, and finally one to the whole to student body.

First, to the new students, my fellow “12evers” – today will likely feel a bit more overwhelming than was Friday. Everyone is here, classes start, and the pace of life has just kicked up a couple of notches.

Instead of repeating everything I said on Friday, just remember two things this week: #1) you will find your place here in terms of friends, successes and passions – it will be fine; and #2) if you are not sure about something, make sure to ask. There is an army of fellow students and staff here who are in your corner, and who want you to succeed, because we have all been in your position.

I bet everyone here can remember the first day at a new school. I remember my first day in 1972 as clear as a bell. My elderly grandfather walked with me to school, the place was huge, I was undersized, both short and a bit thin (hard to imagine when you look at me now), and completely uncoordinated. What I remember most how intimidated I felt. But it all worked out eventually. 

Now for the Senior 2s.

I have had the good fortune to meet many of you, and many of you have already gone out of your way to make me and my kids feel at home here. (My wife seems to feel at home everywhere she goes.) You guys have been a class act – thank you.

I know many people have already spoken to you about how important this year is for you individually – it is that crucial lead-in to university and your life ahead. Canon Bob, in his thoughtful homily at yesterday’s chapel service, talked about how fast this year will go – a sentiment I concur with 100%.

So there is lots of pressure for you to expend those most precious resources, your time and your talent, towards personal achievements in the classroom, on the stages and canvasses, on the playing fields, and around the world.

I suspect that many of you feel that pressure more than most, and I know that it is more than some of you really wanted. But let me leave that subject for another address.

Instead let me talk about another challenge – and I want to apologize for loading on more expectations.

First of all let me say that we all have a hand in sailing this Appleby ship in 2012 – 2013. Certainly the staff are critical, even the Head of School and Principal have a role. Of course, the student body, in the final analysis, defines the school culture for a given year. But within that context, it is the leaving class, (the Senior 2s, in this case the class of 2013,) who sets the tone, who role models it, and, more than any other group at Appleby, who owns school culture.  They have the strongest handle on the tiller.

I have had thousands of conversations with alumni of numerous universities and schools. Especially over the last nine months, I have had many with Appleby alumni, and I am intrigued by the pictures their stories paint about Appleby. About the differences between today and 5, 10 or 15 years ago when Ms Porter, Ms Cochrane and Ms Cater were here as students; or 25, 30 or 35 years ago, in Mr. Grant and Mr. Suchanek’s times; and about how profoundly different it was from their time compared to the 1950s, not to mention the 1920s and 30s, when the oldest Appleby alumnus I’ve met was here.

One of the questions I love to ask is “What makes a great class?” In every educational institution, there are huge gaps between the quality of classes. Some are amazing and, frankly, some are duds. And often, at the start of the year, you can’t fully predict where a Senior 2 class will end up.

Sometimes it is tough to assess how good your own class is – studies show that we don’t always really see ourselves, even when looking into a mirror. (Once again, a good subject for a future talk.) While how a class feels about itself is an important criterion of greatness, it’s really the classes around you, usually those in the five years younger than yours, and the faculty who are often the best judges of which classes are truly great.

Here is the thing about great classes – they are not great for just one year. They become great for a lifetime, for the next 60 or 70 years. Because an entire generation of students knows that greatness, have benefitted from that greatness, and respect it.

So, what really makes a great class?

Yes – things like the calibre of performances, university placement, funds raised, AP scores, and sports championships are all relevant and contribute to greatness. But let me suggest that they are all secondary to three factors.

First – great classes make those around them feel great. There is a wonderful story about two of Great Britain’s greatest Prime Ministers – Gladstone and Disraeli. Historians tell us that both were remarkable leaders of that nation when the British Empire was at it zenith. I read a piece that talked about the differences between the two of them. It said that after dinner with Gladstone, you would come out feeling that you had talked with one of the smartest people in the world.  After dinner with Disraeli, on the other hand, you would come back saying what a great dinner it was and how you feel like one of the smartest people in the world.

So, think Disraeli. Great classes find ways for the rest of the student body to not just feel good about itself, but actually feel great about itself. This feeling is on a macro level, with a sense of school spirit, goodwill and collective positive energy that cuts across houses, classes and other barriers. But it is also felt an individual level, where each one of us feels a sense of personal connection, and feels respected by the leaving class. 

The second factor is about the leadership model.

Something I briefly spoke with the house councils and prefects about was the role of positional leadership versus relational leadership. Positional leadership is when someone is able to change behaviour and culture because of their position – I say stand up or sit down and you do it, because I happen to hold the position of Principal.

Relational leadership, on the other hand, is based on a foundation of earned respect and credibility – someone can influence behaviour and culture because they are held in high esteem by the peer group. They have credibility and they may, or may not, have a position.

Every piece I have ever read on these differences suggests that positional leadership is doomed to failure if it is not built on a solid foundation of relational leadership. And relational leadership is by far a more powerful lever within communities.

So great classes have many, many leaders. It is broadly-based across the class (both those in formal positions and those who do not have the title), and it is built around a commitment to a series of values; things like: respect for others – how to treat them; responsibility – when to stand up and own something; integrity; and compassion.

The third factor for class greatness is how people interact across cliques. In every school, as I am sure is the case here at Appleby, there are clusters in each class. People may hang around based on neighborhoods, or interests (geeks, artsies, jocks), or ethnicity, or personality type, or other factors. It is impossible to suggest that everyone in a class will be equally good friends with everyone else – that might work in a finale of High School Musical, but it isn’t reality in a school like ours.

However – the very great classes in different schools have all found a way to have a bond that cuts across all of these cliques, and there becomes a baseline of respect that links every member of the class, even if they are not all best friends.

That is also a harbinger of your future because, believe it or not, while you probably know that in 25 years, many of your best friends will be from Appleby, I also predict that some of your closest Appleby friends at that future time are not among your best friends today.  In all likelihood, there are people in this gym right now, whom you don’t have anything to do with, but who will be your close friends in 25 years. They may be teachers or athletes or academics or rebels, painfully shy or wildly extroverted, younger or older. Once you realize that, it completely flips the way you look at and deal with each other.

So my question to the Senior 2 class is: how do you want to lead this year? What is the right balance between pursuing your individual achievements and working towards the greater good? There is no perfect or right answer. All I ask is that you spend some time as a class pushing yourself a bit to have the conversation, and think about what you want to achieve. From what I have seen so far, you have all the potential in the world.

And now finally, my message for all of you – Middle 1 to Senior 2, rookie or veteran.

The start of September is a time for New Year’s resolutions. Of course, every class here should be thinking about the questions that the Senior 2s are facing – those I have just talked about.

I also believe in situational leadership. Every single person in this room will have the opportunity to show leadership to do the right thing when a group is facing a dilemma. And on that note, I’d like to ask you to think about two virtues: courage and optimism

In addition to my asking about what makes classes great, I also enjoy asking alumni about the experiences that had the greatest impact on their student years. What is remarkable is how many focus on what I call “the small acts of kindness.” Even though the impacts are not so small!

Let me tell you a brief story about a high school classmate of mine who I will call Gary. He was very smart, incredibly socially awkward, and physically weak, but a nice, earnest guy. Almost daily, he was tormented by classmate whose favourite habit was to grab Gary by the back of the neck and force him on his hands and knees and make him howl like a dog in front of others. You can imagine the impact with is peers. At his reunion, Gary thanked another classmate because he will always remember this fellow, on the landing of a school staircase not unlike the old one on the north of the Memorial building, stepping in and calmly asking him to leave Gary alone, which he did. Many years later Gary remembered that single act as if it had just happened.

These kinds of stories are many and varied: the leaving class student who stepped in with a word of encouragement for the lonely first year girl; the guy who consoled someone who just bombed an exam, or was cut from a team, or let in a bad goal in a big game; the girl who invites a not-so-close classmate, who felt on the outside socially, to join her to an event; the family who invited a new student from another country to their home or cottage. Interestingly, more often than not, those alumni being thanked don’t even remember the events.

In speaking to alumni at their reunions, the times when they were down, in any way, and a fellow student or a teacher stepped in to lend a hand or a kind word – are seared in their memories. The impacts that these gestures have had on peoples’ lives are deep and profound. It’s even moreso when the kindnesses crossed cliques – a geek helping a jock, a long-time student helping a new boy, a day student helping a boarder, a hetero guy helping a gay one.

The difference between taking and not taking any of these steps is usually not lack of awareness, or not having the idea, but actually having the courage to do it. Because these actions take us out of our social comfort zone. I and, I suspect, many of the adults in the room often ask ourselves if we have courage to always do what our gut says is right. I’d like to spend more time on this subject in the future as well. But before then, my first challenge to each of you is to try one of these acts of kindness – it can be very small or big. Find a way to show decency and show your courage. I promise that you will not regret it.

To quote the great, magical headmaster Albus Dumbledore - “It is our choices that show truly what we are, for more than our abilities.”

Finally – I used to follow hockey rabidly. As a Leaf fan, I understand how suffering makes you stronger. I still love it, but haven’t had the time to watch it as closely in recent years.

When I was younger, there was a coach who some of you may have heard of called “Badger" Bob Johnson. Bob Johnson was one of the great hockey people of the last 40 years. He was an iconic college coach who took his team to 7 frozen four championships (winning 3), international hockey (including coaching 8 Olympic, national or Canada Cup teams), and at the NHL, where he took the Calgary Flames to their first NHL appearance, and was at the helm when Mario Lemieux and the Pittsburgh Penguins captured their first-ever Stanley Cup.

Sadly, the following year, he took ill and ended up directing the Penguins from his hospital bed. In November that year, Badger Bob died. 5 months later, the Penguins won their second straight Stanley Cup

While Badger Bob was famous for this impressive record, what he was best known for was a rabid sense of enthusiasm and optimism, best reflected in his signature, much repeated saying “It’s a great day for hockey!”

Johnson not only used his words to spread positive energy, his whole being glowed with passion. He seemed to take on every challenge with gusto and had a way to make his enthusiasm contagious, so those around him felt the same way. He turbo-energized those he came into contact with, even over the TV. Even though I was not a Wisconsin, nor a USA Hockey, nor a Flames, nor a Penguins fan, I couldn’t help being drawn to him and feeling myself that this indeed was a great day for hockey.

We all have the ability to have that kind of impact, perhaps not on the same scale. But we can affect others with our attitude and outlook. I get that sometimes, as a teenager, it may seem safer to be “too-cool-for-school”, but at the end of the day you can in fact exhibit an important trait of leadership by sharing optimism.

What do I mean by that? Say hi to people you pass in the hall, even if you hardly know them. Be kind and show respect to the custodian cleaning your room, smile, especially first thing in the morning when everyone would rather be buried in bed.

Share an optimistic view of the world. This week isn’t just the anniversary of 9/11, it’s also the anniversary of Sister Agnes Bojaxhiu, while riding on a train, hearing a call from God to leave her convent and minister to the needs of the poor while living among them – and thereby becoming the now beatified Nobel Peace Laureate Mother Teresa.

Great communities and schools thrive on positive energy, and the greatest leaders share an optimistic view of the future

And now finally, in advance of the official tie ceremonies happening later this morning let me ask all of our new students to stand, so the entire school body can see who you are. And now I would like all the returning students to stand with them and, with the same gusto you sing “Guide Me”, let’s give them an enthusiastic and warm welcome to this special brother and sisterhood that we call the Appleby community.

So, here are the takeaways from this morning:

1.      For the new students – it will all work out just fine, and make sure you ask for help if you have any questions or worries.

2.      For the Senior 2s – think about what greatness means for your class, and stay focused on making the student body feel good about itself. Remember that broadly-based, relational leaders are the secret to impact, and ensure that a base level of respect weaves throughout your class, and between all of the cliques.

3.      And to all of you – search for the courage to perform those small acts of kindness, and strive to be the positive, optimistic voice.

Thank you for your attention. Welcome back. And let’s make this “A great day to be at Appleby!””