The #1 Danger for Children

I have blogged before about mental health, but have recently seen a couple of things that bear repeating, so I'm doing a three-post piece on mental health, the challenges for us, and some strategies to address them…. 

One of the sea changes in Canadian society over the last decade or so has been the emergence of mental health from an “in the closet” subject into a mainstream concern. Sadly, the catalyst of this has in part been the range of tragedies – suicides, bullying, and other forms of harm – that people have seen and read about. While I am not sure whether there are more or fewer of these occurrences compared to 25 years ago, what is clear is that we talk about them far more. Media cover then, institutions are more transparent about them, and families are often more open, despite the crippling impact the events have had on their lives. While there is some debate about whether the profile may cause some people to consider actions that they would have not otherwise, most experts I know agree that the heightened profile is far better than where we used to be. Of course, this is because many families who dealt with mental health used to feel that they were the only ones, the exceptions. The oppressive, suffocating fear of stigma drove the subject deep into the dark.

I cannot think of a family I know well who has not dealt with mental illness in some way – through a parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt or child – and my own is no exception. The stats are stunning: 20% of Canadians have experienced or will experience mental health challenges; 1 million suicides per year worldwide, 30,000 in the US, 4,000 in Canada; it is the largest health threat and #1 cause of death for young people.

A number of high profile Canadians have shined light on this subject by sharing their own families’ stories. The early one I remember was the great Canadian, Hon. Michael Wilson, whose son Cameron struggled with depression before taking his own life. Others like Valerie Pringle, Shelagh Rogers and Mary Walsh are some of many who, through their own story-telling, are opening up people’s understanding to how common these afflictions are, how they are not alone, and how, in most cases, there are ways to cope and/or get better.

One of the most powerful stories is being told through the Jack Project, founded by Eric Windeler in memory of his son who committed suicide at university three years ago. Here is Eric delivering a TED talk on the death of his son at the university they both attended. You will see that I have used some of Eric’s messages in this post because of the power of the message. The Jack Project is doing some amazing things and is one of the organizations that is changing the way we deal with mental health in young people.

In my next entry, I’ll talk about some of the emerging issues in education, including a provocative study about risk factors relating to children from affluent backgrounds.

Student Guest Blogger

Today, Grade 8 student Chloe Ouellette is serving as "Principal for the Day." She is one of four sibling at Appleby this year, and is having a busy day between events, meetings and her performance this evening in the Middle School play as Genie in Aladdin. I invited her to guest blog today, and she just submitted this post ...

Equality - what does it mean to you? Dictionary.com defines equality as being the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability, but what does equality mean to you. Many of you may believe that you are always showing equality in your life because you aren’t racist or because you happen to conform to what the media define as acceptable.

Think of your everyday life. Has there never been a moment when you thought to yourself “Hey, so-in-so looks fat in those pants” or said to your friends “Wow that guy is weird”. Think back, because I know that every one of you has said or thought a rude comment about someone else, because I am one of you. We all judge others so quickly and don’t see our own flaws before calling out other peoples. Albert Einstein once said “Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.” Each of us come in to the world already having a label based on skin colour, gender, ethnicity, wealth, etc. But it’s what we do to overcome these labels that define who we truly are.

John Hughes wrote in the movie The Breakfast Club “You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions.” We see each other for the things on the outside and have to work to see what is hiding within. It used to be that if someone was black they would have to sit at the back of the bus and work in another classroom but we, at least in Canada, overcame that and now blacks, whites, Asians, Muslims, everyone can sit with and be friends with whomever they want to be. But there are still stereotypes of each race that indicate racism. These stereotypes were created by people who just wanted to bring hatred to the human community. But it’s not just racism that’s a problem. Sexual orientation, attack on personal appearance, religion; all of these are examples of ways equality isn’t shown. But we can change that.

Our generation is evolving and accepting things that were unheard of before, but there are too many times when we still let the bullying take over. It all starts in high school. If you see a kid getting picked on, stand up for him. All you have to do is take a stand once for the bullying to end and the equality to begin. Sure, it is scary standing up for someone when you are taking the risk of being excluded yourself, but take that chance. We are all equals. That’s what the Human Rights Charter is for. So next time you hear a racist comment or see a young boy about to get punched, say something and stand up for them. You’ll see that your small actions and words can make a world of differences.

Of Arts Week, the Coronation Choir, Fatboy Slim and The Man in Black

As I mentioned in my lament for the Leafs, the last few weeks have been hectic. I thought I would post a note I sent out to students, faculty and staff about some of the amazing things that took place over the last couple of weeks. When you see them all, you get a sense of the kind of community we are ...

The last few weeks have been a wild ride for most of us... and last week was a bit of a mid-term crescendo. I was going to send a note saying congratulations to those who were involved in Arts Week, but then realized how much other stuff has been going on as well…

Arts Week - I was able to attend many, but not all, of the performances and see the wonderful displays for Arts Week. I was sorry to have been out-of-town for the finale on Friday night – but have heard amazing reports. The calibre of the arts programs is one of the things that I am most proud of as the Principal, and last week was a superb showcase for why Appleby is so well regarded, and so many graduates continue to pursue the arts in university and throughout their lives. Terrific work by everyone involved. I am proud of all of you.

Alumni Reunion - Last Wednesday, we also hosted the 50 year club – those alumni who are back to their 50^th or higher reunions. This year, we also had a special service in the chapel commemorating the Coronation Choir. This was a group of Appleby students (twenty-five 11 to 13 year-olds) who were invited to England to represent Canada at the celebrations around the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II in 1953. It was a 42 day trip that included 19 concerts and a variety of other events. On Wednesday, the Cantus and Chapel choirs performed for these old-timers. It was magical. There were many wet eyes in the John Bell Chapel. Moreover, I have received a flurry of e-mails and calls from alumni who were on campus last week saying how happy they were to be here and how impressed they are by our current Appleby students. A few of them talked about the visit being one of recent highlights of their lives. Thanks to all of you who made some older men very happy.

Leadership in Education - Appleby is also seen as one of the great leaders in the independent school sector in Canada. The last month has only reinforced our reputation in this regard. Annually, we participate in a wide range of national and provincial conferences, festival and competitions. However, this year … and in just the last month … Appleby has also organized  and played the lead in an extraordinary number of them – including  the Ontario English teachers conference, the Ontario Drama festival, the Ontario Art & Media Teachers Conference, and, of course, the Canadian Student Leadership Conference. Congratulations and well-done to all of the students and faculty who were involved with these.

Spring Fling - You may have heard from parents, faculty or staff about why there has been a huge tent up on the turf field for the last few days – it was for Appleby’s Spring Fling on Saturday night. It was an amazing event that raised funds for both renovations happening this summer in classrooms and the NAC, as well as for our needs-based scholarship and bursary program – allowing great kids who would not otherwise be able to attend, to come to Appleby. The organizers took a big risk in trying somnething completely new - and it worked out really well. Like these other activities, this event was very much made possible by a combination of great work by staff (in our philanthropy office) and an army of volunteers – teachers, staff and parents.

Leadership in The Community -  The service days from the last couple of weeks are an essential aspect of great community involvement. It is great to see hundreds of you enthusiastically making our society better through your assistance at such a wide variety of agencies. There is no greater calling. Thank you for this and I look forward to Relay for Life at the end of the month.

I know that there are many other things on the go: our sports teams seem to be having great seasons and playoffs are on the horizons; many of you are immersed in AP exams; and many senior students are going through the student leadership selection process.

There are only 6 weeks left until the Closing Ceremony. Let’s all work to finish the year strong.

And … in the spirit of Arts Week, here are my picks for 2 of the best music videos of all time - one funny (Fatboy Slim) and the other very moving (Johnny Cash singing a Nine Inch Nails song.)

I think I would fit in perfectly with the first one - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex1qzIggZnA

This one is Johnny Cash. Just remember – his wife died immediately after this, and he died soon afterwards -  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McV7pjwVFbE

Lament for a (Hockey) Nation

First of all, apologies for taking so long to post since my last one.  Many of the current and former principals I know have forewarned me how busy May can be … but sometimes you need to live it to believe it.

My friends and family, as well as most Appleby students, know that I am a proud but long-suffering Leafs fan. I have been an avid follower since as far back as I can remember. Leafs like Darryl Sittler, Bobby Baun, Mike Palmateer, Lanny McDonald, and especially Borje Salming and Davey Keon were my heroes, and I often pretended to be them playing road hockey games or the street version of “Showdown in the NHL.” I went to my first game in Maple Leaf Gardens with my elderly grandmother to see the Leafs defeat the Vancouver Canucks (with the old green and blue framed hockey stick jerseys) in 1973. She was a rabid fan and had seasons tickets for decades (dating all the way back to the old Mutual Street Arena,) which allowed her and my grandfather to see numerous Stanley Cup victories.

I’ve had the good fortune to be at many memorable games, including the night Salming had his face skated on, as well as many playoff matches, including game 7 of the LA/Toronto series (the Gretzky non-call.)

There have been lots of journeys close to the summit (I think especially of the semi-final runs in ’93, ‘94, ‘99 and 2002.) But of course there have also been too many “down-to-the- depths” times – especially during the Ballard years. I was at a memorial service recently and the clergyman quipped that the deceased (a friend of mine) should have been a Leafs fan, because when he faced the final tally with St. Peter at the gates of Heaven, admission would be guaranteed due to the facty that Leafs fans have already suffered more than enough down on Earth.   

Perhaps there has been no Leafs series in the last few decades that captured the epic feel of a Shakespearean tragedy more than the one that ended in collapse last night. Like 40% of the population of Canada (a new record,) we were transfixed by the early deficit, charging back to a three goal, seemingly insurmountable lead, before losing the lead in just over 10 minutes, and eventually succumbing to the Bruins in overtime. All this in a forum of bloodied warriors playing with reckless intensity.

My eldest son, Jack, is the most cerebral member of our family and least interested in sports. His passions run to History and Geography more than body checks and slap shots. It makes little sense to him why people get so worked up while watching sports. I am guilty as charged, but Jack does raise an interesting sociological question about where we choose to make our emotional investments. There is something very primal about rallying around a team and feeling that strong bond with other fans than transcends almost everything else. It is fascinating to see people who have absolutely nothing in common with each other and, who would otherwise not even give each other the time of day, embrace each other in celebration, or console each other in loss, living vicariously through their common team.

The lesson for schools is the great potential of sports to be hugely important not only in the development of the individuals who participate, but also in the school community as a whole. Sports can have the rare ability to draw a community together and to forge a common focus and strength. Appleby has a very strong sports heritage. As we look forward, we have an interesting opportunity to define the right blend of sports at each age level – questions like competiveness versus participation, and breadth of offering versus depth. As well, we have to define the best way to leverage our sports program to build community and connection.

And on the matter of grieving for the Leafs … (unlike George P. Grant, the author of Lament for a Nation,) I am the eternal optimist and have moved beyond disbelief, anger, sadness, etc. to hope and commitment to move forward. Here’s how I see it:

·         Yes,  it certainly was a terrible collapse … but:

·         Who would have thought at the start of the season that the Leafs would have so convincingly made the playoffs?

·         The Leafs have slayed the demon of the Bruins. While we lost the series, the Bruins no longer have the hex over Toronto

·         The Leafs were on the edge of one of the greatest comebacks of all time – coming back from the 3-1 game deficit. People wrote them off after game 1, then again after game 4, but they kept bouncing back. They were a superb example of resiliency in the face of adversity.

·         Some of the very best teams of the last few decades had great playoff runs preceded by a disappointing performance the previous year

·         The Leafs are the second youngest team in the NHL, they have a great goaltender and a savvy coach. The future is very bright in Leafs-land, and I am very proud of what they managed to achieve this year

GO LEAFS GO! … next year