Voice from the Past

A couple of weeks ago, our Head of School Katrina Samson, my wife Alison and I attended the annual meeting of Heads and Board Chairs from the Canadian Accredited Independent Schools (CAIS – the association of independent schools, which also has responsibility for accreditation.)

With the explosion of private schools in Canada over the last 20 years (there are now close to 2000), there is a huge risk factor for parents deciding where to turn. I have spoken to many families from outside Canada who have made some unfortunate decisions because they didn’t know any better and were seduced by some sophisticated marketing. CAIS accreditation provides a very strong quality indicator of the school and all major independent schools are members/accredited.

Most of the sessions at the annual conference provided lots of insight into trends and issues in education today. One morning, however, the day started with R.H. Thomson playing the role of the late great author and academic Robertson Davies. Thomson was reading Davies speech to the Headmasters of the forerunner of CAIS at its annual dinner in 1971 at TCS. At that time, most of the member schools were all-boys (the all-girls schools had a separate association of Headmistresses) and a few co-ed institutions. (When he gave this speech, I was in Grade 2 at Brown Public School on Avenue Road in Toronto about to move to a CAIS school. I know – I don’t look that old!)

I found the comments fascinating, especially as my mind went quickly to the zone of assessing what has changed and what has stayed the same. Some of his ideas (and how he presents them) have fallen out of favour, but others are still very relevant 43 years later.

Here is what Davies said in 1971:

“One of your great weapons in keeping anarchy at bay in your schools is the system, devised by Dr. Arnold of Rugby and still in existence though much altered, of a chain of command. You had a form of student government before the state schools had dreamed of such a thing. Your pupils, therefore, have a chance to learn the invaluable, realistic lesson that nothing is for nothing and that power is inextricably bound up with responsibility.

 

It is astonishing how many your people reach the University without having mastered this simple lesson – that power is a weary burden as well as a satisfaction, and that the use of power has to be learned gradually….

 

Your first great strength is your strength of choice. You are not obliged to take all comers. I know you are under pressure to take all kinds of boys for all kinds of reasons, and some of your greatest successes have been with unpromising stuff. But at least you have freedom to back your own hunches and though you use the power with caution, you do have the power to get rid of boys who may be, for one reason or another, disruptive nuisances. The power this gives you to keep you own path is incalculable. If you make too many wrong guesses, you will lose your job. But then this too, is part of the system within which your schools operate; a system of realism which may sometimes be harsh in its decrees, but which never becomes flabby.

 

“Guard the keys,” said Arthur Woodhouse, “and you won’t go far wrong.” And I say it to you.

 

One of your keys is a golden one. The sanction of gold, my friends, is another of your great strengths. The parents whose boys you accept are paying handsomely for their sons’ education. They want something in return and you have to deliver the goods. This is good for you, and good for the boys.

 

Not long ago, a young man at the university where I teach, told me about meeting a girl – a very intense, young, student-politician – who asked him where he went to High School. He answered (one of the well known boys schools of the day). She became more than ordinarily intense. “But did you really enjoy that school?” she asked. She thought the question important. I am glad to say that he did not. This notion that school must provide, before everything else, enjoyment – meaning a constant nervous stimulation, continual discussion and shallow cerebration which is not thought or feeling or intuition, and a quick abandonment of whatever seems to call for laborious preparation and submission to often vexatious discipline – is widespread.

 

The real challenge of education, of course, if something very different. It is the challenge of discovering whether you can bend your proud neck to the yoke and work hard enough and long enough to get ready for very much greater challenges, which will come when school is left behind. School is often dull, because it teaches us many elementary techniques without which no achievement is possible. Real professionalism is achieved by years of necessary dull work.

 

A school, of course, should teach many sorts of professionalism. Greatest of all, it should teach a professional approach to life, and by that I mean an understanding of what can be achieved and the price achievement will cost in the hard coin of time, skill and personal devotion. Even geniuses have to know this. Indeed, a great part of being a genius consists of knowing these things without being taught them.

 

Keep your advantage. Don’t worry about your critics. Teach as professional teachers dealing with professional learners. All the real advantages in education, with which go all the big risks, are on your side.”

The First C and the Quest for the Open Mind

The last 10 days have provided a whole range of big events and sparked some fascinating issues. Those of us in the Toronto area (and frankly many other parts of the world) finally witnessed the Toronto mayoralty election and the end (at least temporarily) of the gong show that has surrounded Rob Ford. The week before last, much of Canada was seized by the murders of the W.O. Daniel Vincent and Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, and what appeared for a while to be an organized attack on our Parliament Buildings. Last week, the formerly much-beloved CBC personality and musician Jian Gomeshi began a journey that will at very least remove his cute, smooth, boyish aura, and at worst will reveal some very dark, illegal and cruel behaviours – time will tell.

What is common about these three stories are: a) they spark very strong emotional responses, and b) time unveils new perspectives and truths about each one. In each case, what appears to be or what we assume to be solid fact changes dramatically as more comes to light. The reactions from observers evolves to places that had been previously unimagined. The way many of us feel about the broader issues continues to morph with this ever-changing understanding.

Three years ago, who could predicted the Fords’ journey? Even six months ago, who could have prophesized that Doug Ford would have lost that Mayoral election by a relatively small margin while Rob returned to the City Hall as a Councilor? The day after Jian Gomeshi aggressively got out in front his dismissal, a scan of the online commentary, letters to the editors, and call-in shows’ commentaries were dominated by outrage that the CBC could have taken such a step – all just weeks after the Ray Rice case blew up.

Our Head of School Katrina Samson talks about the 4 Cs of most important outcomes for education, to which I like to add a fifth: critical thinking, creativity, communication, collaboration and character. When I think of my own children, I am far less concerned about their subject-specific skills/performance than am I interested in their abilities in these five areas. Our contention is that these attributes will continue to take on more importance for broadly defined success in the years ahead.

Generally speaking, the first of these – critical thinking – is the one that traditional education has done fairly well at. However, watching these issues unfold and a recent piece in the NY Times have raised the question for me about how well we promote thoughtful, rationale, analytical thinking. The NY Times piece by David Brooks raises the prospect that American society is becoming increasingly polarized and defined by political doctrine … to the extent that thoughtful, open-minded, critical thinking is forced into the background. I haven’t seen any studies on the subject but fear that this may indeed be the case and, to a lesser extent, in Canada as well.

The issues of our communities, our nation, and the world require leaders who will bring thoughtful critical thinking skills, which must include the ability to understand and appreciate a diversity of perspectives and backgrounds. At our Friday chapel, I was pleased to hear students from Russia and Germany reflect on their countries’ long and painful histories with each other, and students from Hong Long and Mainland China reflect on differences and similarities. Both of these are powerful messages in the times of Putin and Hong Kong democracy activism. Our future will be most successful if these kinds of conversations are regularly taking place in as many schools as possible.

These last couple of weeks provide a horn of plenty for exploring difficult issues with young people and asking them to struggle with challenging subjects with critical thinking skills. Here are some interesting questions for you to raise at the dining room table – and try to revel in the dialogue the discussion than worrying too much about the answers:

• Despite all the scandal and controversy surrounding the Ford brothers, Doug Ford lost to John Tory by only 7% of the vote. A scan of results by ward shows that Tory won 21, Ford won 20 and Chow only 3. And the map of the wards is shockingly polarized. What does the map mean? In light of all of the happenings of the last couple of years, what should we conclude from the fact that more than a third of voters supported the continuation of ‘Ford Nation’ in the Mayor’s Chair? What should Tory do to address this situation?

• Were the deaths of Daniel Vincent and Nathan Cirillo more about the danger of terrorism from fundamentalist Islam or mental illness in Canada? Should these attacks prompt Canada to readjust the balance between individual freedoms and greater security powers? Or should the identification and treatment of mental illness become a higher public policy priority? Should government have the right to hold Canadians who have committed no crime but who may very well pose a grave threat for committing one in the future?

• Should employers have the right (and responsibility) to discipline or fire people who may not have been charged with a crime but who seem to have done bad things? Should some members of society (e.g. media personalities, professional athletes, politicians, CEOs and community leaders) be held to a higher bar than the average citizen and be punished for non-illegal acts (or at least those which have not yet gone through legal process?) Does the State have any business in the bedrooms of the country?

The Fool's Dilemma about Morality

“On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” ― George Orwell

 

“Everybody's got the seam of goodness in them, Kit," said Grandpa. "Just a matter of whether it can be found and brought out into the light.” ― David Almond, Kit's Wilderness

“The evil done by men of goodwill is the worst of all ... We have done terrible things, for the best of reasons, and that makes it worse.” ― Iain Pears, The Dream of Scipio

Last spring I wrote about The Fool’s Dilemma: the tendency for everyone – fools, geniuses and those of us in between – to 1) be wrong more often than we think, and 2) not be able to recognize/realize that we are wrong more often than we think. It’s like driving in the left lane more slowly than others, thinking that you are the fastest, and a giant 18-wheeler is cruising on your back bumper in a blind spot. I heard about the Fools Dilemma (a part of what is called the Dunning–Kruger effect) on an episode of CBC Radio’s Ideas.

While the intellectual capacity and judgment aspect of the Fools Dilemma is fascinating, perhaps the more interesting aspect relates to the question of character, ethics, and morality. According to the researchers on the show, this tendency applies just as must to how we see ourselves as good or ethical individuals.

The psychologists discussed studies where groups were asked to predict how they as individuals would act if put in a hypothetical situation, and how the rest of the group would. For example, if there was a charity drive, would they participate as an individual, and how many of the whole group would? Later, the charity drive actually takes place and they compare the predictions with the actual behavior.

Here’s what the found: Dr. Dunning reports that individuals predict the actions of the group quite well. People are generally good social psychologists. They can read others and group pressures/dynamics. However, they were way off when they predicted their own individual actions. A high proportion predicted that they would do ‘the good thing’ but in reality did not.

Dunning suggests that this is because we see ourselves as being immune to factors like peer pressure and other internal or external influences – we believe that we ourselves uniquely creatures of independent, objective free will. But of course, each of us is as susceptible to these pressures as anyone else.

For about 25 years, I have led workshops on ethics in educational advancement. We’ve run these as interactive sessions with a heavy emphasis on case studies and discussions in small then large groups. The conclusion I have taken from these seminars is the same as the one from the many conversations with students related to behavior, difficult choices, and discipline – we all see ourselves as fundamentally good with a strong moral compass. I’m not sure I know anyone who is mentally well who does not feel the same about him/herself. And when actions don’t relate to sound moral judgment, it is common to find justification or they are seen as atypical slip-ups. It reminds me of the sticker that a friend of mine has on his classroom: “You may not be racist, but what you said is”.

So people see themselves as moral, ethical beings. Notwithstanding this reality, we all know of people whose personal ethical codes are found seriously wanting. Equally as frustrating are those whose personal mirrors seem to be tinted with pious self-satisfaction. (Occasionally, family members raise this prospect around my own self-image!)  

The Fools Dilemma as applied to morality provides some interesting challenges for education, especially character education. For young people who are struggling to find their own moral code, there is no benefit to attacking what they see as their core belief structure because the natural instinct for self-protection will reject it and force the issue into the blind spot.

I think instead that there are three key focal points:

1. Open their minds to alternatives - provide a broad window on various models for ethics, spirituality, and morality. If they ever did before, I am quite sure that most bright teenagers today don’t respond well to dogma. Engaging them intellectually in various systems tied to religion and philosophy will provide the kind of stimulation that be the catalyst for them to embark on their journeys on their own terms. As our Chaplain Rev. Malcolm Wilson said recently, all people, regardless of their backgrounds or beliefs, at some time are searching for their sense of purpose and meaning.
    
2. Role Model, Role Model, Role Model – it’s a very old axiom that young people take away far more from what they see adults do than what they hear them say. This applies to adults’ willingness to reconsider or challenge their own actions, beliefs and decisions. Showing your openness to being wrong is one of the most powerful tools leaders, teachers and parents have in encouraging students to do the same.
    
3. Look at ethical dilemmas as objectively as possible, then focus on the courage of action – As Dunning said, most people understand what the ‘good’ or ‘right’ course of action is when they look as it from the outside related to a third party. When it becomes their own issue in a personal way, their judgment can be impeded. So frame ethical questions in a non-personal way while searching for the best answer. Once determined, focus on the difference between knowing a right answer and acting on it. As I have blogged before, my good and wise friend always talks about the difference between someone who knows what the ethical course of action may be theoretically and someone who actually does it. It’s all about courage. The more we can promote courage, the more we can expect to encourage leaders of great character.

P.S. Perhaps the best poster child for the Fool's Dilemma is my favourite Looney Tunes character Foghorn Leghorn .. here are some of his best lines

The Faces of Homecoming

We had spectacular Homecoming festivities over the weekend with most sports teams winning, glorious weather (thanks due to our Chaplain, Rev. Malcolm Wilson), and a great sense of energy from our students, returning alumni and families.

This is actually the first Appleby Homecoming I’ve attended where the weather wasn’t problematic. I was starting to get a complex, so I’m glad that particular streak is broken.

Some of the highlights included: hosting the 50 Year Reunion Club and the Class of 1989’s 25^th Reunion at our home on Friday lunch and dinner, respectively; the re-opening of the Memorial Classroom Building after a complete renovation over the last three summers; and the student house trivia competition and pep rally on Friday and Saturday. (I’ll put some of the more interesting questions from the former in my next post. BTW - Powell’s House won the trivia competition.)

On Saturday, we help the Reunion Dinner in Schlesinger Dining Hall. I realize that hearing from the Principal is not the #1 priority for returning alumni, but I shared a few thoughts anyway. In addition to providing an update on recent Appleby successes and encouraging them to support the school, I made the following reflections on Homecoming:

“I have been struck by 5 sets of Appleby faces that I saw over Homecoming.

The first was the face Robert Fleming who drove in from Kingston, walker and all, for his first visit in many decades to attend the luncheon at our home yesterday from grads of 1964 and earlier – the 50 year club.

With his twin brother Louis, Robert first came to Appleby 80 years ago in 1934 as a nine-year-old boarder.

Over lunch, Robert talked about how he ended up here from England to a school of fewer than 80 boys. He remembered how wonderful and kind Headmaster Pervical Wickins was, but how he sadly and suddenly died of cancer at the end of the school year after only telling people a couple of weeks before. Robert explained that he and his brother shifted to Lakefield to finish high school. After pausing for a bit, he then exclaimed – with his blue eyes twinkling and a big, broad smile – that on reflection, the happiest years of his life were in boarding at Appleby.

The second set of faces I that struck me were of the faces of many, many members of the class of 2014 who came back after having graduated just three short months ago. They were also smiling and full of joy about seeing classmates and former teachers.

But speaking with them, I get the sense that they are different people. The have the confidence of adults coming back to their alma mater, rather than the proud yet nervous grad about to leave the nest to take a giant life-step. I heard stories about how well university is going, and how they look back on their teachers and on their experiences – be they in the classroom, on the playing field, sleeping in a quinzhee in Temagami, or helping build a school in Kenya – they look on these with an emerging sense of broader perspective, and, as a result, much deeper appreciation for what their Appleby experience was all about.

The third set of faces that I think about are the 5 faces of the soldiers of the sculpture “Remembrance and Renewal” in front of the Memorial Classroom Building. We officially re-opened this morning, 65 years after it was first opened in 1949. It has been completely renovated and is a spectacular example of what leading edge learning space should be. And the statue, which we dedicated last June 6 (the 70^th anniversary of D-Day) is a variation by the same sculptor of the centrepiece of the Juno Beach Memorial. Remembrance and Renewal’s dual purposes are 1) to remind us that the Memorial Classroom Building was built as a tribute to the AC men who fought and died in WWII, while also 2) inspiring alumni and students to exhibit those same values – sense of service, duty and commitment to bettering society throughout your lives. Each of the five faces of the sculpture shows a different emotion. It is a beautiful piece and you should make sure you take the opportunity to look at it lit up at night, and also see how the building has been transformed since your time as a student.

And the fifth face that I remember well is that of a young boy I chatted with this afternoon. He is maybe two or three and was all hyped up on ice cream, noise and excitement. When I asked him what he was doing, his brown eyes got really big, and he had one of those earnest faces (coloured with Appleby-blue facepaint),and he told me in a loud voice with a blend of great gravitas and bursting pride that “This is my Daddy’s School!”

I don’t know who was prouder – the boy or his father. But it captured for me how a great school is about community beyond just what happens here on campus.

Those five sets of faces capture much of what was great about Homecoming today.”

Time Shifts

I feel really guilty about not posting over the summer. “The best laid plans of mice and men …”

But it wasn’t because of an eight week holiday.

While most school administrators (including those of us at Appleby) usually take summer vacation, we don’t take the entire summer as vacation. This is one the great myths of schools – that we all take two months off. I took about 3 weeks with my family and regret that I didn’t take more time with our kids as they bounced between camps. Our older two kids are at the stage where next summer, jobs will likely get in the way of our having all of us spend a couple of weeks together at my wife’s family’s cottage in Quebec’s Eastern Townships. So this summer was a bit of a milestone, and my wife Alison and I feel a bit sad that the family-focused, extended time together over the summer may now be a thing of the past.

Extended summer holidays are by no means uniquely Canadian. While we get to enjoy more holidays than our friends to the south and many Asian countries, we still rank well-below many European countries. However, the idea of time away at a cottage, at a camp, on a canoe trip or at another outdoor location with family is very much part of the Canadian ethos. This may be evolving, but it’s still very much part of what I think as being typically Canadian (together with bagged milk, the CBC, an over-developed inclination towards apology, and the Crispy Crunch bar). For many of us, our special places – those with which we seem to have the strongest, most nostalgic bond – relate to summer holidays, be it Georgian Bay, Lake Joseph, Algonquin Park, Temagami, or the Bruce Trail.

I have read a few articles about research that points to how extended summer vacations for students are not in the best interest of optimal learning, but on the other hand many have prophesized that Canadian school administrators mess with summer holidays at their own peril.

What is true, however, is the increasing popularity of pursuing education or education-lite in the summer. This last two months, we had more than 5000 registrants in our summer camps, summer academy and residential ESL program – a record number. And the popularity of summer credit programs, especially related to international travel, has never been greater. Many summer overnight outdoor summer camps have for credit elements to their programs.

As I speak with students and faculty about what they are most frustrated with about their Appleby experience, there is close to unanimity that number one is managing the challenging demands of the program within our most limited resource – time. So, as we prepare our next strategic plan, we are going back to a question which I posed two years ago – should we challenge our paradigm of time? Does it make sense to consider optional alternatives such as an extra year of high school, or broader summer offerings, or re-consider the length of the academic year?

Finally, let me go back to that question of summer holidays and a common lament by critics of schools. Heck, even I was guilty many years ago of musing about this subject – why is it that teachers get so many holidays?

If you look at the faculty, most of whom are away for all of July and August, the reality of their work year is quite different than the typical assumption. We’ve done the math and it is clear that teachers at busy independent schools trade off more holidays (in the summer and at Christmas) for work weeks in the academic year that are all-consuming.

This was brought home to me over the few week. With classes and meetings starting at 8 am every weekday, and co-curricular programs running until 5 or 6 pm, the standard day is a very long one. But on top of it, rehearsals for plays or sports fixtures (especially away-games) frequently result in later evenings and Saturday absences. And when one starts to include residence duty on week nights and on weekends, Saturday service days, and special events like Homecoming, parent/teacher interviews, and grade parties, all that free time away from school starts to dissipate like an early morning fog meeting the hot morning sun. And of course, our outdoor education and global education programs are core elements of the experience at Appleby, and they require faculty to be away in an all-encompassing 24/7 experience for between three days to more than two weeks. I realized that a couple of weeks ago as I waved goodbye to colleagues on Saturday as they ventured forth in canoes for an overnight with our new boarders in the pouring rain at Pinecrest. And they were a long way from their own spouses, partners and children.

At a place like Appleby, we expect our teachers to be more than adequate. We expect them to be ‘on’ in the classroom, to be ‘on’ at the playing field, to be ‘on’ in the canoe, and to be ‘on’ when counselling boarders during weekend duty. I have come to appreciate that while they do have more vacations than most, it is an absolutely fair reflection of what we ask of them during the schools year, and an essential requirement for both their long-term sanity and being the energized/engaged guide for their students.

Farewell to the Class of 2014 - Courage and Permission for A Life of Meaning

On any given day, I am juggling my "guilt pile" - those things I should have done days, weeks or months ago. Most recently, on the top of the pile has been posting some blog entries. So I am finally getting caught up, starting with my remarks at Closing Ceremonies on June 20. More to come on a regular basis.

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Some of the middle aged members of the audience will remember a long-running series of tv ads for the stock brokerage E.F. Hutton. They all featured busy locations full of many people and lots of chatter. As soon as the main character says, “My broker is E.F. Hutton and E.F Hutton says …”, there is complete silence and the dozens of extras all strain their necks to listen in for the pearls of market insights about to drop. Unfortunately, I sense that many of us who are school Principals may delude ourselves into thinking that graduation audiences are straining their ears in anticipation of Dumbledorian wisdom to spring forth form our lips. But the more you are around graduation or university convocation audiences, the more you realize that brevity seems to be the best path to success. While I can’t promise brief, I will get you out well before dinner!

So with that in mind, I’d like to share with you one reflection and two pieces of advice – one to the graduands, and the other to (I was going to say adults, but I think of the about-to-be graduates as adults – so let me call the parents, grandparents, and friends) ‘the older folks’.

#1 - Congratulations to all of our students from M1 to S2 for a most successful year. From the academic performances, which we are honoring today and in the fall; to great athletic results with multiple national and provincial medals (including golds) and numerous league titles; to close to 200 of you spending time overseas; to remarkable performances in the arts; to dedicated commitment to making our communities better through almost 40,000 hours of service; to friendships formed and friendships forged as strong as steel; to learning how to live and co-exist with those who are different than you; to the joy of writing your last high school exam just a few days ago; as I look back on this year, I have to tell you that they make me smile. Not just a little grin, but a wide, bright, beaming smile. And you should feel the same way.

To the class of 2014 – for only a few more minutes the Senior 2 class – you are a remarkable group. Many of you have nothing short of extraordinary abilities and really special gifts. A few of you even have more than one of these gifts. They range from talents to attitude to character to people skills.

While Appleby has benefited from superb performances in formal leadership roles this year – Prefects, house councils, captain, wardens, club heads – an even more impressive reflection of your class has been the extent to which so many of you have stepped up to show that small act of kindness, to understand when leadership was really needed and fill that need. And that applied to high profile classmates, to those of you who are very quiet, to those who are academic stars, those for whom school was a bit of a struggle, and even to some of you who have the knack for stirring the pot in a good natured yet mischievous way (you know who you are). The bottom line is that the sum of all your actions, the synergy of the class, is far greater than you as individuals. Mrs. Samson, Mr. Grant and I are very proud of you all. The staff of Appleby – your teachers – are proud of you. And I suspect that your parents, grandparents, siblings and friends share that sense of immense pride.

As I was listening to some of our Grade 8 POLs last week, I heard many great presentations and thoughtful reflections - far more than when I was 13 years old. One of the presentations focused on a student’s musings about the risks he has taken – about trying new things. And he was bang on.

My advice to the class of 2014 is: be wary of trusting your gut. You heard me correctly. I am contradicting what has been one of the most the ubiquitous pieces of graduation advice of the last few years:  that oft-repeated refrain “follow your gut - do what you love”.

I want you to, at times, disregard your gut.

What do I mean by that?

I want you to do things differently. When you look at people who have done extraordinary things in their lives, the achievements and successes that they are most proud of usually have come from people stretching themselves, operating in a zone of uneasiness, of doubt, of discomfort. And older people, when asked about regrets, almost always talk about the risks that they didn’t take, rather than those that they did.

Almost everything that I am most proud of in my life those things that I look back as being memorable – from running in student elections, innovating in jobs, standing up to people I respect on a point of principle, being a father, performing on stage, being with someone as they died, or skydiving for the first time – they were all very, very difficult. Many of them I failed at first time (although fortunately not skydiving.) The greatest rewards often come after the most challenging journeys. In all these cases, a significant part of my gut inclination was to avoid those situations because they would make me uncomfortable.

I have no doubt that all of you, each and every member of the class of 2014, has the capacity to do well. Whether you were a star here or just got by, rest assured that you have the tools to do just fine in university and beyond. You have been through a demanding program at Appleby and have been forced to balance many requirements in a structured, high-expectation environment. You do have the ability.

The greatest obstacle, the highest hurdle to your fulfilling your immense potential will not be your ability, but rather your sense of creative ambition, your capacity to imagine how great you really can be. And just as important, developing a taste for risks – a taste for trying things that are completely different and new, a taste for doing things that you may well fail at, a taste for being uncomfortable. Those are the experiences which – win or lose – you will learn the most from, yet they are also often the experiences which your gut will direct you away from.

When I came here two years ago, I heard a lot about the ‘Oakville bubble’ and the ‘Appleby bubble’ – this sense of a protected Pollyanna experience. But what I have seen is something quite different: many of you pushing yourselves out of your comfort zones be it in Temagami, growing up in a foreign country in a different language, trying new sports, international service trips, or performing in front of the school. I hope that you felt comfortable doing those things because, succeed or fail, you know that you belong at Appleby. This is one of your homes.

Next year, you, the members of the class of 2014 will not have the comfort of Appleby. But I challenge you. I challenge to at least twice try next year try something bold, something very different for you, something that you might very well fail at. 

Finally a word of advice to the older folks here this morning, which in itself can be seen as a courageous step for any school administrator!

About four years ago I was in a meeting with the noted youth psychologist and author Adam Cox about an ambitious study he was in the middle of. He was interviewing thousands of young people from around the world – from different cultures, wealthy and poor, urban and rural. He was asking them about the big life questions – What do you want from life? What is important to you? What are the obstacles?

To this day, I remember what he identified as the two commonalities in the vast majority of his conversations. Across nationalities, religions, races, Dr. Cox said that young people aspired to two things in life. The first should be of no surprise to you: young people talked about a yearning to live a life of meaning. Of course, living a life of meaning can mean different things to different people, but it usually relates to achieving three things: 1) doing well – being successful, doing things at a high level; 2) being able to do some things in your life that you love, which bring you great enjoyment; and 3) finding a way to improve your society – your community, your family, and the world. Of course for most of us, we need to do a variety of things to fulfill all three. Few endeavors speak to all three at the same time.

Even those young people who may be thought of as unmotivated or lacking in potential still aspire to live a life of meaning.

The other common theme that Dr. Cox heard was that youth wanted to make their parents proud – to be good children. And it wasn’t just the well behaved, straight-and-narrow crowd. Here’s the kicker, even those teenagers whose parents had passed away, and those who are in serious conflict with their parents, almost all of them all talked about wanting to make their parents proud. It is such a powerful message.

So you too have a very important role in the next few years, and I don’t just mean in term of paying university tuition fees. Think about how you can give permission for these remarkable young people to take those risks, to dream big, to be uncomfortable, to take a path different from the one that you may have.

For some, it will be in the words you speak, for others it will be in the actions you take or don’t take. I know that many teenagers have developed ideas about what will make their parents proud based on the craziest indicators or assumptions. And sometimes those interpretations are very far from the truth.  

So, tell them your own stories. Talk to them about what you regret from your younger years, especially the things you didn’t do but wished you had. Tell them about your own failures. Most of us who are parents never share those kinds of thoughts with our kids because we worry about showing weakness or setting a bad example. But in reality, those stories are very powerful ways that we can grant our children the permission to explore and discover what their own best lives of meaning can be.

We all want to make sure that our kids aren’t hurt. Ironically, the best way to do that, in the long term, is by giving them your blessing to take those risks, to be bold and to sometimes fail.

So to the class of 2014 – have the courage to take risks. Develop the thirst for being uncomfortable and not always trusting your gut. Aim big.

To the parents and mentors – give that permission. Let them know that it will make you proud.

To all of our students from Grade 7 up, and especially the Class of 2014. Thank you for a wonderful, memorable, and successful year. You’ve done the Appleby community proud – congratulations!

Thank you

Welcome and the Long Walk

Welcome back to the start of the school year.

The last two weeks seems almost surreal. New boarders arrived the day after Labour Day - the same day as all faculty (new teachers and those in leadership roles came in a week before). Between new student orientation, first assembly, parent orientation, athletics tryouts, parent grade parties, tie ceremonies – not to mention classes – students, their families, and faculty are riding a giant, speeding roller coaster of emotion. Katrina Samson (our Head of School) and I see that especially in the tie ceremonies where every new student processes up one-by-one in chapel in front of the grade band to receive their Appleby tie, shake our hands, and have a photo taken with us.

The John Bell Chapel is the place at Appleby that gives off the most Hogwarts-like feel with its gothic architecture, stained glass, and the constant whisper of history. I know that the process is intimidating for some of the kids – you can see that in their gaits (quite the variety!) and many very serious looks. It’s almost always uncomfortable being the centre of attention in your peer group, especially for teenagers. When they finally arrive at the front of the chapel (I’m sure the students who are seated at the back feel that they have walked a marathon by the time they arrive), Katrina and I encourage them to take a moment and smile. Every year, there are a few outliers (usually senior schoolers) who embrace Katrina and I for the photo like we are long-lost buds. I suspect that chutzpah will serve them well in life. And by the time they arrive back in their seats, they have completed what is probably the most difficult part of week 1.

Everyone feels like this first week of school has actually lasted for more like two or three. It’s probably in part because last week was a ‘short week’ with the long weekend, in part because of the emotional roller coaster, and in large part because the returning the back to back classes that last a day after two months of camp or relaxing or cottage or a job takes remarkable mental focus – it is exhausting. A teacher just pointed out another reason: after spending the summer in flip flops, walking five full days in heels takes a physical toll. I’ll trust her on that one.

Welcome back to everyone. There is a wonderful, positive energy on campus. I look forward to a great year with one of the first highlights being Homecoming on September 26/27. See you there.

PS Here's a cartoon shared by my colleague Calvin Armstrong that has a different take on start of school