Gavotting, Manners and Narcissus

Today I was flying to Texas for a symposium as well as a task force meeting of a group of North American heads and administrators looking at more aggressively marketing boarding programs. During the first leg of the journey, an early morning flight from Toronto to Houston, I was stuck thinking about Carly Simon and her most famous song You’re So Vain (and lyrics.)There remains a great deal of speculation about the subject of the song and Simon remains coy – was it Warren Beatty, David Geffen, a hybrid of three? Perhaps appropriately, Beatty is reported to have said “Of course it’s about me.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised that the flight was jam-packed, the seats seemed smaller than I am used to (or maybe that’s more a question of perspective), and the plane’s video entertainment system was out of action. None of that was too bothersome compared to the young woman who sat down next to me right before takeoff. She was one of a group of about five who were all seated in middle seats spread over about six rows. I would guess that they are in their mid-20s, and they were en route to Cancun. As soon as she sat down, she started talking loudly (arguably yelling) to her compatriots in the other rows, filming them on her iPhone as well as the two dozen other passengers in the vicinity. She kept reaching across the elderly man sitting in the aisle seat next to her, almost knocking him, without a word of excuse me or apology or even recognition of what happened. In short, she was oblivious to everyone around her and her friends. She never once looked at me over the 4 hours sitting next to each other. Even when I asked to go by her for the washroom, she didn’t move but swung her feet onto the seat of the man on the other side.

She was wearing a fedora-like hat (you guessed it – strategically dipped below one eye), but no apricot scarf.

The kicker was a period of at least five minutes at the start of the flight when she was taking photos and videos of herself … over and over. Throughout the five minutes, she was adjusting her hat, her cleavage, her facial expression, and hand gestures while the elderly man on the other side of her and I looked on incredulously as she clicked away. I get a selfie or two as you head off on a fun vacation with friends, but five full minutes of focused posing while sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers?

Now don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate, and may even have direct personal experience with the exuberance of heading down south for a week of fun with buddies. But having a good time and having respect for others need not be mutually exclusive. And I don’t subscribe to the absolutism of the shared mottos of Winchester College and New College, Oxford – “Manners Makyth Man” (manners make the man.) However, they can sure provide some strong hints.

Manners in the narrowest definition relate to conventions of behaviour – protocols, ways of acting, and traditions. And they can look very different from culture to culture. Undoubtedly, your ability to operate within these conventions can be a helpful way of fitting in, connecting in a credible way with others, and presenting yourself as polite, professional and refined. There are many absolutely wonderful, talented people whose challenges with manners have led others to misread and underestimate them. But in this case, I think the issue wasn’t knowledge of appropriate protocols, but rather a shocking lack of awareness of those around her – let alone empathy – and in its place an unhealthy fixation on herself and how attractive she could make herself. I hope she doesn’t spend too much time looking at herself in pools of water.

Now perhaps I am being a grumpy old man and would fit in a bit too easily in the theatre balcony with those two Muppets? Maybe I need to lighten up?

But when I think of what we hope for in Appleby students and graduates, among the most important attributes are awareness of self and those around you, and respect for the same. Those core character traits – empathy and respect – are essential for strong citizenship and leadership.

For better or worse, there is a higher bar for students from schools like Appleby. In speaking with my colleagues from other G20 schools, it is clear that one our shared worries is ensuring that our students manage to strike the right balance between humility and confidence. Those young people from successful families and those young people who are highly talented can be at greater risk for getting the balance wrong - being too focused on self rather than others. This is the greatest fear of many parents. And sadly, there is an unfair perception held by many in the broader community that independent school grads can be too self-centred. That is not what I see, but it does magnify the need for us to focus on empathy and respect.

In most families, we can be least respectful to those with whom we are closest, and we are at our most impolite at home. The same thing applies to schools. Despite that, I am generally very impressed with our students and how they interact with each other. Consistently, our younger and new students tell me how well they are treated by then older and longer-tenured students. Moreover, each term I receive a impressive number of compliments from representatives of community organizations and colleagues at other schools about how well our students represent themselves and the school. While that may relate to them knowing when to say thank you or hold a door open or the difference between the salad fork and the entrée fork, I think it is more a reflection of empathy and respect for others. And that – that is what makes me immensely proud.

In the draft of our next strategic plan, we are placing an even greater focus on the development of self-awareness and being a respectful teammate. Fifty years from now, those will be at least as important as they are today, so we are “doubling down” our own commitment.

And if we do our job, no one will say about an Appleby grad, “You had one eye on the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte.”

Maps as a Window in Us: Plotting Our Competitive Advantage

A few months ago there was a flurry of online traffic about maps. For some, there is nothing more mundane and boring than a map. But not me. I love maps and the stories they tell – call me a map nerd. Anyone who has been in our home may have seen a few dozen historic maps (mainly Canadian) they paint an intriguing picture of our evolving understanding what we now call Central Canada. That perspective has changed a lot. Maps provide a window on how we see each other and how we see the Earth. This who have read The Map that Changed the World also understand how maps can even change our understanding of humanity, religion and where we came from. (Even for those in the “maps are as exciting as bricks” camp, the story tells a great tale of creativity, tragedy and the power of persistence – I recommend it.)

Perhaps my interest in maps came from my university years studying geological engineering. Honestly though, I think the spark was lit and fanned in my years at summer camp, doing outdoor education at school and in scouts where on canoe trips and hikes your skills in understanding where you were and where you were going was based on understanding maps. The ability to relate a two-dimensional sheet of paper with topographical lines, different colours indicating terrain, and strange symbols to your three-dimensional field of vision was challenging, often ambiguous, and, if you got it wrong, there could be significant consequences for your party. These abilities can be shockingly variable across a group and seem to have very little correlation to intelligence.

One of the best of the “maps that change the way you think” groups was sent to me by a friend, but it originating with The Washington Post – “40 Maps that Explain the World”.  Take a look at them and I think you’ll perhaps develop a new or updated insight the position of Canada in the world. In particular, take a look at maps 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 16, 19, 21 and 22.

About 10 years ago, I met Eric Lubbock who, during the Second World War, was in Canada as a “war guest” – the young people who were sent by their families from England to attend school and escape the danger of the Blitz. Lubbock is now 86 years-old and since 1971 has been 4^th Baron Avebury. Lord Avebury is a most fascinating individual. Over a couple of lunches with him in the Parliament Buildings on the banks of the Thames, I heard of his time in the Welsh Guards; his business success as an engineer; his conversion to Buddhism; his election, service then defeat as a Liberal MP (which gave birth to his wonderful line "In 1962 the wise, far-seeing people of Orpington elected me as their Member; in 1970 the fools threw me out"); and then his service since 1971 in the House of Lords. He has made a name for himself as a tireless advocate for the oppressed in many parts of the world and a voice of compassion.

The last time I saw Lord Avebury (about five years ago) he was asking me about multiculturalism and what Canada does differently. He was lamenting the challenges the UK has been facing with worrisome societal conflict based on race and ethnicity, the lack of positive social dialogue between different new immigrant groups, longstanding Brits, religious faction and different ethnicities. And for all the issues Britain has been facing for a few decades, compared to many other European countries and other regions of the world, they seem more like mild tensions. Many countries face devastating inter-ethnic problems, in some cases tearing their countries apart. Since my lunch with him, while the state of the world has generally become better, concern around race, ethnic and religiously-based violence has spread. For many, it our greatest problem. Lord Averbury asked how Canada gets it right? Of course, we also have challenges. We are far from perfect, but the nine maps I mention paint a picture of what Avebury was talking about with respect to Canada and some of the other Washington Post maps help make his point about the issue around the globe.

When I travel (most recently in Turkey, China, the Northeastern US, and the UK with heads from other G20 schools), I like to ask people what they think of Canada and Canadians. I find that for families of students thinking about independent schools, they tend to pick the country before the school. And the common themes I hear about Canada are safe, welcoming, diverse, happy, big, beautiful & clean space, stable and boring. Not such a bad mix.

A few years ago, I posted about the four kinds of learning – learning to learn, learning to make a living, learning to live and work with people of different backgrounds and perspectives, and learning to be – defining your purpose/reason for being. Of course they are all important. But the third one seems to be growing in importance for the world. And the more I travel the world, the more I appreciate that this is one of Canada’s more striking competitive advantages. It is also what our students, especially those from outside our borders, remember most of all about their years at Appleby, be it in the blend of students at the school or their Appleby experiences internationally.

As we confirm our priorities for the future, we plan to “double-down” in this area. Increasingly, the ability of young people to have a global outlook, intercultural literacy, and acceptance of different perspectives will be a harbinger of their own success in life. Just as important, it is one of the golden keys to addressing some of the world’s most dangerous threats … and indeed making the maps of the future better than those of those of today.

Locking in Our Bearing for the Future

First things first … apologies for not being more diligent on postings. Lots of ideas, but few put to paper. I now have a few in my cache, so stay tuned.

I have written about the development of Appleby’s strategic plan a few times on this blog and we are (I hope) getting close to finalizing it. In a couple of weeks’ time, we will be having the fourth Board of Governors retreat where we focus on our future priorities, which I hope will be the final conversation before seeking approval later this spring. In addition, we have been having a series of meetings for faculty, staff, alumni and parents relating to the development of the campus master plan and the creation of Appleby’s strategic plan. There have been great suggestions and feedback, which, together with the results of dozens of student lunch conversations and the 2014 stakeholder surveys (students, parents, alumni and employees,) provide a strong sense of the views of the Appleby community – broadly defined – about what is good and not-so-good about Appleby today and where we should head.

But many of you may be saying, “So typical of education … endless talking. How about some action?” Yes, it has been a while in development. I am increasingly of the view, however, that the process is as much about building a sense of understanding and support as it is about the content. No, that is not saying that the content isn’t important, but rather that it is only one of the four platforms of great school strategy.

They are:

1. Clarity of why or purpose. At the end of the day, what is the most important outcome of what we do day-to-day and year-to-year?
    
2. The specific content of the plan – are the strategies and tactics that have been identified as priorities the right ones? Will they differentiate the school in the niche in which we operate? Are they sufficiently ambitious and innovative, but at the same time feasible? Has the right balance been struck between respecting current strengths and traditions versus innovation? And do the priorities speak directly and ambitiously to the answer from question 1?
    
3. Is there broad-based support for the priorities? The implementation of the strategic plan is usually dependent on: the faculty and staff who have to make it happen, the alumni and parents whose philanthropic support provide the resources, and the (current and prospective) students and parents whose enrollment and enthusiastic participation in the school is paramount. Having these groups on-board with the direction (having consensus on all the details is impossible,) or at least getting them to that position is a highly desirable pre-requisite for making it happen.
    
4. Execution – John Thompson a great Canadian business leader (before his retirement, he served for many years as the number two guy at IBM in NY and recently stepped down as the Chair of the TD Bank Group) brought home to me the understanding that execution on strategy is far more differentiating than the creation of the strategy. His view (I am paraphrasing him here and there is a great deal of strategy writing that supports it) is that in most sectors there is no shortage of great, creative ideas. (Indeed many leading organizations’ reputations are most notably linked to the innovation or quality of their offering – How amazing is that new product?) However, at the end of the day, the sector leaders usually got to that position because of rigour and effectiveness of implementation compared to the other players in the industry. There is great truth to that view, including in education.

So, where are we now? Amongst the Appleby Board and Leadership team, there is strong consensus on the answer to the first question. I have written about it in this blog – our mission remains completely on point. (Our mission: To educate and enable young men and women to become leaders of character, major contributors to, and valued representatives of their local, national and international communities.) It harkens back to the founding of the school by Sir Edmund Walker and John Guest, and it compels us to think boldly in terms of why Appleby exists, what we expect of our graduates and, therefore, what we expect of ourselves in terms of an extraordinary student experience.

I am also delighted that, based on the many conversations, surveys and meetings with students, parents, faculty and staff, alumni and friends of Appleby, there is a remarkable coalescing of opinion about where Appleby should focus our effort over the next few years.

Last night, we held another of these consultation meetings with a group of alumni and parents. Their comments and questions were much appreciated as we refine our draft plan before final approval. The next one, which is open to all parents, alumni and friends, will be taking place on April 22 on campus in the LEC at 7 pm - all are welcome.

Around that time, we will also be posting the draft version of the plan. Any thoughts and feedback would also be welcome. In the interim, over the next few weeks, I will be outlining many of the elements of the draft plan – and why these are important for us.

I look forward to being completely confident with the answers to Strategy Elements 1, 2 and 3 (outlined above) and bearing down on implementation.